...Or Is This Something We Can Look Forward To?

President-Elect Clinton Announces New Intern Policy at White House
January 15, 2009. The White House.

President-elect Hillary Clinton announced new guidelines for placing interns in the White House today. Called the Unacknowledged Minorities Affirmative Hiring Policy, Ms. Clinton said the new policies will give priority in intern placement to persons who, in past administrations, would not have been give "such a grand opportunity."

"In the past," Ms. Clinton stated, "these positions were held to be specifically for young people who in reality should have been busy with their classes and their books. We have distracted them from their very real career goals while ignoring the rich contributions that could be brought to the Executive Offices by persons with more life and work experience."

"For that reason," the president-elect said, " and that reason alone I assure you, for the next four years we will draw interns from a special pool of unacknowledged minorities which will include the grotesquely overweight, individuals with chronic and incurable halitosis and/or body odor, members of religious communities that require silence and chastity, Islamic fundamentalists, widows in their late 70s and early 80s, and ex-gay men. As the administration progresses we will expand these programs as other appropriate categories are called to our attention by the volunteer who will be heading up our outreach efforts... my husband, the former president."